Before fall break last month, I always dreaded coming home-I loathed leaving my semi-organized college life because I knew what would be waiting for me here-a mess.
While it is true that I often struggle with keeping my personal life and belongings organized at school-I would have been so embarrassed to let anyone from school see the mess that I had left here in my bedroom. I wished, desperately, that there was someone else to blame for the fact that I literally could not open the door to the small room without bumping into boxes, clutter and general disorder-but I was the only one at fault. Somehow, the room had become a storage unit for all of the cluttered pieces of life that I had not yet found a place for-boxes left from the previous school year, incomplete craft projects, assignments from high school, and clothing that no longer fit.
When I had finally cleared a path across the room, I sat on my bed and took a moment to feel ashamed of my unholy creation. As I sat there in the midst of my clutter, it occurred to me that God loves us in the midst of the mess. He joins us in the center of the rubble and he loves us right there. He loves me in the midst of my mistakes and my mess. He knows that I am the one to blame for all of it, and chooses to remove my shame.
I still do not understand God’s sightless love, but I am learning this…He didn’t die for us because we were perfect. He continues to lay down his life for us, because we are anything but. He sits in the center of my mess and sees only me; his beloved daughter.
