The Writer

You know,

I suffer from the inability to express my deeper musings without a metaphor...actually I am not always aware of my own feelings until I find some metaphor our outside idea as a translation.

This strange part of my life, the step between being a college student, and being an independent adult has been a strange one for me...

Mostly in the fact that I have been very calm about it!

Disclaimer: by "Calm" I mean calm for me. I am a person who is, generally, overflowing with emotions. My calm is the equivalent of many people's excited...so keep that in mind.

For some reason, this transition has involved practically no tears, few stressed out rants, and very little stress eating, shopping or sleeping.

For a while, this really suprised me...

That is until I watched "Bones" this week.

Ok...disclaimer again: I often connect my life to TV shows. I don't know why, but I absolutely love fictional drama and could be defined as an obsessive fan of a few. In this case: "Bones"

Not to give anything away: but this season finale had an expected (or mostly unexpected) ending. It was the kind of unexpected that left poor, innocent viewers in complete bewilderment as to what the next episodes will look like. They could either be awesome, or horrible...either way: it will be different!

After frantically discussing the plot with some friends on facebook, and nerdily reading a blog or four about it...I sat back and wondered why I cared so much.

It is just a TV show! but...

it is one that I like, a lot, and the writers of that show could literally do anything they want to it.

They could (any may) make some terrible decisions, and a story that I have enjoyed could end badly...that would make me sad and it is a future that is outside of my control.

It dawned on me that, right now, I am more stressed out about a TV show's future than my own.

This could be for one of two reasons:

1) I am in denial, and cannot bring myself to process what is actually happening

or

2) (and I hope this is it) I actually trust the author of my life. He doesn't make bad decision. Actually, he makes us for a lot of mine. He knows the next season of my life, and is not wondering what it will look like. He already knows and he is already there. So, I am left in a position of not knowing what the my next episode will look like, but I do not have to dread it. I already know that it is good.

In between...

Dear People (my people)

I hope that you know how deeply I value each and every one of you.

At this moment, I am thinking in particular of that delightful group of women that I have shared my life with over the past few years. That wonderful, sleep-deprived, goofy, and stressed out group of college students. I hope that you, my dear friends, know how much I have valued being in your presence. Even in the midst of greesy DC food, piles of unfinished homework, and all nighters, you always brought a sense of joy into my life.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, as I leave my world of shower caddies, easy mac and Blackboard, I am increasingly convinced that we must remain connected. Our lives were beautifully interwoven my a creative God, and I am convinced that he intended for this connection to be eternal. I believe that he delighted in each of our silly conversations, in all of our inside jokes, and in our desperate attempts to love one one another in spite of our living together. I believe that he enjoys our community as much as we do.

As I move into another community, my hope is that the best of our community will go with me. That our friendships will blend into the new connections and destinations of life. That somehow, our connection will bless new communities that we may never know about.

So...people, you will be hearing from me again soon, because I love you, I feel radically blessed to have you in my life.

God bless you...I will be praying for you

~Becky