Tonight there was so much that caught my attention in the stories that I read through. The thing that drives me nuts about the Bible is the fact that it tells so many stories without telling me everything. I want to know what Rachel and Leah were really like. I want to see what all of these people looked like-I want to know what these things actually felt like when they happened. Someday, when I finally get to heaven, I fully intend to ask all of these people to actually tell their stories. I want to know the details! Until then, I will continue to wonder and to guess.
Anyway…apart from my ranting, the point that I am going to hit on tonight comes from the end of Genesis chapter 32. In this chapter, I find the story of Jacob literally wrestling with God. We do not know exactly why this happened or specifically what God was trying to teach Jacob…there are many things that I could have been, but that is not the issue that I am hitting on tonight.
What really captured my attention tonight was the fact that Jacob was literally never the same after his encounter with God. This sounds like a really positive thing, but in some ways it doesn’t seem like it…after Jacob wrestled with God, he had a limp for the rest of his life. He was physically never “whole” again after he saw God. He had a permanent reminder of God’s complete power over his life. This reminder probably even hurt, but he would never again forget about God’s power.
I think that all of us carry scars from our encounters with God. It is a terrifying prospect, but God’s presence in our lives, means that parts of us will have to die. We cannot wrestle with God, and leave without a mark…
If we are really letting him work in our lives, we will feel him break us…
Our
Pride
Self-confidence
Apathy
Selfishness
Parts of us die, and it hurts…it can hurt so much, but it is a good hurt.
As God wins the wrestling match of our lives, we find that we no longer want to win the fight, we want him to break us. We accept the pain with the understanding, that everything we loose will be replaced with something better.
In our brokenness, we encounter freedom.
Even Jacob learned this…after God hurt him, he gave him a new name and called him his chosen son.
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